complicated feeling...

Kinda busy this few days...dunoo y...i cant be happy...i smile...bt it is not real...too many things to worry...bt she...skip many meals...that i was worry bout...i noe she is worry...bt i cant do anything...btw...service day is near...many thing to follow...busy...can u imagine a person will feel sad,worry,mad,confuse,lost,wondering at the same time....i can tell u...that the thing i have now...

Good or Bad?

Today...i'm going back to hometown...i dun think wa to go bck...bt it seems i hav to...the problem here has not settle yet...but still...hope they can handle it...3 more days to my service day...but i have no mood to handle it till they all be al rite...

Why thing always haapen and let ppl down...

Something happen...and it is really really bad...actually it is just a small small matter...but it bcome headline...hmph...thats the nature ability of human...how fool they are...bt this matter make every1 down...moody...sad...cry...and fake laugh...hope that i will get in this too...cuz i'm 1 of them...every1 is going down...and i try to bring them up...Everything will be fine soon...bt they dun understand...i have many thing to worry...bt still...i put this problem as my 1st problem...hope that they all will be fine soon...

Happy...?? Or Sad...??

Untill today...i discover that...my feeling towards her...slowly gone...it slowly leaves me...haha...should i be happy bcuz i'm free...or sad...bcuz i need to like her...
Am I??? I'm not sure wat am i doing...bt 1 thing for sure...i need to pay 100
% concentration on my career...and i'm gonna do it...no matter wat happen...and i wont let any thing stop me....nothing...

Should I let go...???

untill yesterday...i discover i'm still confuse bout something...1 sentences, 3 words,and 8 letters...
I Like Her....and this time it is real...normally i wont like a gal for a long time...cuz whn a person get hurt once...the wound may be recover...but...the scar will still remain...
But dunno y...i will try to control myself...i will try not to go out with her again till i clear myself...i will not be serious and i wont...i noe...in two week times...this feeling will gone...it will...and it must...

Raining sybolise the tear of we...

Yesterday i back to my hometown...and noe that my cousin has pass away...bcuz of cancer...he leave his 2 year old son and wife...y the fuking thing always happen to knid ppl...bcuz he smoke too often...he get cancer? i dunno...but i'm sure i wont touch that thing again...never!!! He die in Sabah...a beautiful...sad thing that my aunt cant see him when he leave this world...i din cry...but i can feel tear inside of me...and i can feel it clearly...Brother Bo,although we arent vry familier to each other...but, i promise...i will try to hlp ur son and wife as long as they need my hlp...So long Brother Bo, and rest in peace...

1st thing when wake up...

Today the phone rang...and i awake...the 1st thing in my mind....the song and then her...LOLz...kinda funny....me...and headache....not enough rest...but still...will continue my plan...

Break the record...

today...vry sleepy...cuz yesterday i sleep at 5 am....and wake up at 6.40 am...but when think bout her i still can hold...sleep late bcuz of my creation....lolz...i like to made video....cuz it is fun....and meaningful....i like it....and today....i stay at here...hostel...dun think wan to go back home....bored...cuz she is in penang too...so...better stay here...but today really dissapointed...Devy din join the lunch...they use to be best friend....but now....y the human relationship always so complicated...an easy thing can become so so complicated....although she act like dun care anything...but i noe and i can feel it...she is crying no matter inside or outside...maybe it is all problem...but it is not my problem...but i've decide to get in of it...maybe i'm too busy body....but i hope i can get rid of this damm complicated frienship...and i will try my best to settle it...

Gathering...

Today my class start at 1...sleep till 10 something...i have a nice dream...in my dream...i'm in a mansion wit her and her friends...we live happily together...but in real life...i din plan to let her noe...haha...but today i'm in gd mood...cuz just came back from "mamak stalls" with my friends...lolz...talk cock and laugh......fun...^^
Btw....she having many problems today...i can feel what she feel...dunno y....and she tell me many things...sad things more than happy things....if i have 1 wish now...i will use it to make her happy and dun have any problem...she really need attention and care...and i will try my best to help her...i will...

I really like her...

till today i think bout it again...di i really like her...or it is just my corrupted feeling...and i think...i really like her...i can feel the problem she have...but i din speak it out...cuz i noe...i wont go any futher...i have to stay at where i am...let the other guy take his action...stupid fellow...i am...lmao....i guess...i will still like her and try to make her happy...but not as my target...she really makes me wan to protect and take care of her...she need attention and care...and i am not going to...cuz i cant...i simply cant...
Btw...today...we have men talk wit the few cock fellow...really funny...and @@....gd time together...but still...i cant keep my mind on her...y???but i think...this feeling will gone after a weeks or 2 just like b4...cuz i dun really like a gal that long time except "her"...
she have different thought with others...she is special...than every gal that i meet b4...but somehow...

Interrupted feeling....

Just that today i tot tat i like her....i discover tat i was wrong...all the feling that i feel b4 is i just take her as friend...and i can feel it as a friend...and today...i find another her...and i like the way she be, she act, she laugh, she smile, she look...and she think....she is special and different than other....oh god...pls dun let me hav this kind of feeling again...let me stop this feeling on her...but i cant...cuz other guy like her although she din have boyfriend...but the other guy may take gd care of her than me...so...i guess i will stop at where i am...
I start my smoking habit again bcuz of her and i will stop my habit again because of other her...
Btw...i saw Theing just now...she go gurney by herself and plan to watch movie by herself...u noe wat...i kinda pity for her...
Today also is not a happy day...i did something really really bad...i almost break up with my friend's gal friend for my friend...am i cruel...idiot and suckers.....i think yes...

Concentrate leaves me...

Yesterday i try to cook pasta...just suddenly wan to cook it...but i din prepare all the things...the noodles, i make it myself using the potatoes...i fried the nudget and thn i go and cut the vegetables...when cutting...i was thinking of her and her problem again...suddenly i feel upsad again...then i forget about my nudget...and finally...my father saw it but it was too late...the nudget all gone...and the soup i cook slighty gone too...this is the mistake i never done b4...whats is going on with me...??? why i bcome like this....

Sorrow...without tear...

Yesterday she told me her story....she was sad...she nvr do this since i noe her...the guy do this to her...at that time,i wanted to hug her and tell her:Forget the past,cuz from now on...i will take care of u...and will make sure u will be happy every single day...I will make sure u get things better than me cuz i maybe cant give the best to u,but i can give the most to u..."but i din say that...cuz whn a person was hurt b4...the wound maybe recover,but still...there will always a be scar...
I try to console her....but that time i bcome fronze and spechless...dunno y i can feel her feeling really really clear...and from that time i noe...i fall in love with her...and this time...i noe...what is love...
I try to make her happy...but i was having the same feeling with her...my face may look nothing...but eventually...i was cry and bleed inside my heart...i din face this kind of problem b4...and now...she let me understand what is love...
Every1 was not born to gd in everything...but still...they can train to bcome gd in everything...and till now...my heart still crying...i cant control myself...
After going home...she sms me and thank me...she say she feel better now...but i can feel that...she was still sad and maybe moody...i can feel the sorrow of her...but i cant do anything...

Good day...

today watch movie then we go to cafe and chat there...noe a lot of things juz now...so...i consider it as a gd experience...

Complicated feeling...back again...

That feeling when i used to have...is back again...and this time...it has give me a hard time...i try to control myself...but seems...i've fail...even like this...i will still control it...till the day this feeling gone...and leave me...